Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
