I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
