so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish you could order shots online.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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