grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
