Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
