I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
