would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
