apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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