You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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