Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
