You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
