I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize