i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
