Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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