she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
