dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
