if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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