hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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