God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
