I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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