So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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