the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
