Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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