Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
