It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
