I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
