Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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