i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
