Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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