he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize