A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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