Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
