im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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