and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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