i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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