Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Boobs speak an international language.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
