I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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