friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
