i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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