You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize