he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize