Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Panties = found
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