i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
