i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
