Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
