Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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