Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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