Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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