yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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