Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
