I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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