why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
