Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
