I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
