I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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