Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
