Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
