What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You ate ashes out of my bong
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
