dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
