My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
