Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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