i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize