honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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