at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
