At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
