The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
